Return to myself.

You know... I often feel that I am much inferior that what I used to be during my childhood.

When I was a kid, I was full of energy, keep pestering others, love to have bicycle race with friends, play with mud, annoys my teacher in school, kick my innocent friend out of nowhere.
But those aside, I always enjoyed hanging with friends, be the one who called for a groupwork doing homework, sell 'rare' printed material I made with 'rare' computer.

But now, look at me. Sitting at my own bedroom looking at the monitor screen reflecting myself. Haha!

If it is possible, I would like to travel to the past and face to face with me from then.
I would like to ask
"Do you like the way I am now?"
"Do you feel like want to punch me in the face?"
"Is the kind of people I'm hanging out with right now looks right to you?"
"Do you like my attire?"
"What do you think about my hair? Nah, I don't think you care, but yah... what do you think?"
"Do you think my dedication towards Islamic teaching is enough?"
"Do you think I spend too much on entertainment?"
"From your point of view, am I keeping good relation with my family? Or do I seems to be too far distanced?"

This is the me who I want to meet.

There is a bunch of stuff that I would like to discuss with him if I have the chance.

*butterfly effect*
And one thing, if there is one advice that I will give him for his new world line... I will say...
"Always love your family. Don't be afraid to depend on your family. They have been very helpful to me in my time of need, and they will also be helpful to you".


Hahah. look at me. ranting about myself. T_T
OK back to the damn endless assignments!

(p/s: The first ever picture of me from pre-secondary school ever posted on internet. Woot! Woot!)

Another day of winter: First day of class

Now it is 6.25am in the morning.
I suppose to wake up at 7am, but somehow I slept too early yesterday, and end up waking up a couple of hours ago -.-".

I will have the first class of the term at 8am, Math 300. Math in the morning, isn't that great? Fwa ha ha ha ha.
I hope that this term will be even better than the last.

Okay, I want to take a 30 minutes nap.

zZZZ

Another day of winter: New Year 2012

^^. Happy New Year 2012 everyone.

     For most part of the world, the day is already in 2012. This day marks the next revolution of earth orbiting the sun. Some say that it is insignificant, while some say that it is important. I say that today is a rare enough event for everyone to notice.

     Just like every other new years, I've been thinking on what shall be my resolution for the next 365 days.
But WAIT. Before that... what happened to 2011's resolutions??
-.-" While I didn't put it into words on this blog, I believe it was something about... getting better grades in my academic terms. Well, thanks Nizam of 2011. I guess you did a good job. One thing that I succeed was I was finally able to have good sleep the night before exams. No more being an all-nighters. ^^

     So, now, it is MY TURN, Nizam of 2012. What kind of paths shall I face for the next 12 months? What choices shall build up dilemmas for the next 12 months? What are the things that I could do the best as a 22 years old teen for the next 12 months? What level of misery that I can expect for the next 12 months? What can I do today that may help me for the next 12 months?

     I think last year, I was a little bit misbehaved. There's a lot of area I could have improved on, particularly in performing daily prayers. Then, while my time management showed some improvement, I still depend a lot on last minute pressure to finish the job. Whereas for daily consumption, I concluded that coffee & coke is bad for exams. MILO is by far the best!

     Therefore, I believe what I need for next year is to practice one-time-FOCUS aka giving dedications. FOCUS when I am studying. FOCUS when doing prayers. FOCUS when playing games. FOCUS when doing team projects. FOCUS when I am cooking. FOCUS in doing assignments. This is my resolution for 2012. I believe everyone would agree that 'focus' is a word with many good connotations.

=D

p/s: I bought a desktop!! ^^

Another day of autumn: No skip class... yet ^^

I'm proud to announce that I haven't skipped any class yet for the semester.

(No oversleep etc, a problem since my first year)

This is only a personal achievement. I'm not saying that skipping class is totally disastrous. In fact, most people in my class sometimes HAVE to skip certain class to attend job interviews. Every morning I can see a couple of people smartly wearing coat in class, trying to look professional.

Even the instructor mentioned that every student is responsible to cover the material discussed in class themselves. So, basically, most of the effort is done by the students. Attending class would be just more helpful and it avoids the frustration of tracing back in-class notes from peers.

Yeah, so I hope this routine will be retained for the rest of the semester.
i.e.
EVERYDAY, WAKE UP SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 7-7:30AM, AND REACH CLASS BEFORE 8AM.

My new friend. lol

Another cloudy day - Mental preparation

It has been 3 months since spring summer holiday started.

At first, I was worried that I will waste the long holiday with useless activities. However, alhamdulillah, at home, I can always find the needs of doing some meaningful stuff. So far, yeap, I am satisfied.  Not to mention that I can unleash my driving powaaa!!

As a side note, automatic trans. > manual trans. I want to enjoy the ride, not the sound of my engine -_-.

It appears that the last month of holiday will coincide with the month of Ramadhan. I am wishing that the month will help me further in preparing me for another 2 years of journey oversea. To be specific, I need to ensure that I am secured physically, and mentally.

Physically as in health obviously, and mentally as in to have the will-power to keep working. Insyaallah.

As for my dilemma of whether I should celebrate Eid Fitr here in Kuching, yes, I think I would. Thanks to those who put weight on that decision.


So... yeah, later.

(p/s: I am currently playing Steins;Gate visual novel for PC. It is in Japanese language, but I manage to find an active translator(ITH, Atlas, TA) to help me translate while reading. Anyone has any info on it, or is interested can drop me a message =D)

Thoughts - Influence

Last few weeks, my sister uttered something like this during our conversation about our viewpoint to everyone around us.
"The only thing I cared for is my own belief on matters"
and I replied something like this,
"Good, that is a strong and important statement that will help you..."

Of course, being not-in-a-tv-or-movie this conversation was, a moments later I regret and wished that I would have said something potentially more beautiful .. like

"It is good that you are able to think like that. Only strong people can say those. However, for now just keep it. Be a good girl and listen to your parents. The time will come in the future where you will be in trouble and at that moment, that hold will help you."

Oh well... I hope they will eventually grow up eventually as fine ladies. Haha. No really I'm serious.

--------------

From my point of view, I am actually glad I manage to be a person that they can feel comfortable to talk with, and they actually are willing to share seriously about their life how they see it (aside from complaining about how bad they hate maths in school -__-").

...and that is like a DREAM COME TRUE for me.


One of the reasons is being able to share.

Like I said to my friends the other days, I think the best satisfaction is when you can deliver your experience and knowledge to other people, esp. the next generation, and see them grow up along with your passed thoughts.

Another day of spring: Home sweet home, Sarawak.

Apparently I skipped a month this time. Oh well.

Okay so here is a summary of what happened since my last post.
- Finished final exam.
- Went to Malaysian Student Association dinner.
- Group photos with everyone especially graduated students.

- Took a hellish 2 days flight from Edmonton to KL.
- Went out to Low Yatt to update myself.
- Went to Negeri Sembilan
- Visit relative's friend's Kenduri Kahwin.

- Took an hour and half flight from KL to Kuching.
- Claim my delayed baggage.
- Bought some presents for my lil sisters to help them study.
- Redesigned the interior of my house to make it looks neater. LoLx
- Went to Kyan!me event at Kuching and met my fellow batch schoolmate who cosplayed!!!


and now... here I am thinking of what should be done in the next 3 months for the time I have left in Sarawak.

Another day of winter: Reading week

This week is holiday for the university. It is called the Reading Week; which I believe intended to allow students to prepare for their oncoming midterm exams.
In my case, I had 2 of my midterms before the reading week. They were so-so. Will the reading week help me in the remaining 3 midterms? I hope it will. In fact, I'm counting on this week to keep up with my studies.

My main target however is only one; Sleep. I must replenish my sleep hours which has depreciate much for the past 5 weeks.
I also want to revise the way I do my assignments, reports etc so that it could be done earlier and I could have a good sleep hours.

I probably have posted about sleep hours many times in this blog. Haha. That is probably one thing that I am still struggling to manage.


I guess that's all. This Wednesday I'm going to join my friends for a trip to Calgary... about 600 km to the south. I hope it will be a comfortable trip. lol.

[p/s: I think starting my post title with series name sounds more manageable. Like 'Another day of' series is for post about life and so on. I'll come up with others as I post about them]

Thoughts

I wonder. What is the thing that motivates thinking.

I can for example, turn to a page of my math textbook and think nothing of it.
On other situation, I can turn to that same page, and starts to wonder what does the bunch of text/equations mean.

Well, yeah, I can certainly say that in the second case I put my thought on it as an answer.
However, that is where the problem is...

What is the process before that?
What is there between looking at sentences/equations and thinking about it?

Is there some sort of 'switch' that when turned on, ACTIVATES thinking? If there is, how do I turn on the switch?
In computer analogy..., how do I start writing on the input buffer?

If I know that, I can probably do what people call PAYING ATTENTION more effectively.

Happy New Year 2011

Today, January 6th is my birthday according to Solar Calendar. It also marks the beginning of 2011.

Last year, I made the resolution of getting A's and finish a diary. The path of getting all A's was harsh to me so I didn't get it, but I did try my best. Diary? Heh, I got a better picture diary. =D. It's cooler.
My Hatachi project is still ongoing with a little bit of additions.
As I grow up, I find keeping resolutions are very useful especially if you got it written somewhere. It probably works just like writing the 'Objective' section in your experiment report. It helps me to keeping track of what I want to do 'in overall'.

Daily life is full with infinite of sub-objectives. It varies from large event of going to supermarket to buy food to very small event of hitting the space bar on the keyboard. Who knows the number of events you have done in one night. They are all relative and depends on what can be considered an obvious events with cause and effect.

In between those events are choices. "What letter should I press next". "Which transport should I use to get home". Etc. These are the one that is affected by the larger objectives you have beforehand, which could be, "Typing my name" or "To get home as fast as I can".


Extend it a little bit more, you can see where the yearly resolution can come into play.Having yearly resolutions is not a must, but a indeed good addition to your life.


---------------------------------


So I made my own cake on my own birthday. Of course, I don't expect anyone to make one for me. So, rather than I have a dull night, might be good to have a homemade cake to eat aye? Haha.
Cheesecake! =D


So, I believe another resolution should take place. Unfortunately, I feel uneasy with the exam I just went through. And I can't define my course of action completely without knowing what will happen in the near future. Therefore, I will postpone the new year resolution till next month that is when everything should be settled. Will update this post again. =D Ganbaru!

p/s: Miss my p/s section T_T.
p/s2: Will probably continue to blog this year. I've collected quite a lot of skillz and it is a waste not to share. Hahax.
p/s3: Should I buy a ps3?

Open-heartedly welcoming 2010.

Once again, Happy New Year everyone.

Went to City Square Edmonton for the countdown event.

Here I uploaded a clip from Lucky Star to help me convey the message literally.




2010 is a beautiful number to me. It is... rounded up, if you get what I mean. Additionally, it also coincides with the year I'm turning hatachi, which is a rounded up number as well.
Then, being hatachi this year also coincides with the year I attend university as undergraduate.
So, in my perspective, it is like a beautiful RESET button. So, I'll press it today.

Just like any New Year, including Hijrah new year of course, I will come up with some sort of resolution to be aimed at. 2009's resolution was a success =). Alhamdulillah. But since 2010 is like a special year to me, I want to make something else as well.

Therefore, for this occasion, I have announced a self-inspired-changes-for-a-better-life project called Project Hatachi! So, unlike the 2010 resolutions, this project contents will have a permanent impact on me. Insyaallah.

So, begin with this year's resolution =)
(drum rolls...)
1) Get at least A- for all my subjects in the second semester. The time has come to get rid of the Bs.

2) Finish 2010 diary dammit! Lots of blank for the last 2 years.

Then the hatachi project... I'll just put some summary. It kind of personal actually, and there is no benefit for anyone else to know them =)

1) Anonymousization of me in the internet.
2) Control the way anime impacts my life for the next 10 years.
(Note: Not getting rid of it, for those who care)
3) Time to get involved practically with something I've been waiting for so long; Computer Science.
4) Memorize some more Surahs.

With that, Happy New Year and happy get to school everyone =)

 Thank you for reading.

Mata tsugi no post.

another 'Happy' Post =D

Happy Birthday =D

[to be continued]

Selamat Hari Raya

Wishing Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin to all muslim visitors to my blogsite =D

(p/s: Eh!?, I accidentally capitalize the 'A' in the image. Ah..Nvm...)